Subject: Another "If OSes were..." - now it is "planes"
From: <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 17 May 94 12:29:44 EST
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers

I've just received this funny message and immediately decided to share it 
with my a.f.c. buddies ;-)
Enjoy!
From: William Howell <[email-masked]>

Here is the airline joke I read at the NCSA meeting in May.  A
number of you asked me to send it.

___

IF OPERATING SYSTEMS RAN AIRLINES

DOS Airline: Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then
  jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again,
  then push again, jump on again and so on.

DOS with QEMM Airline: The same thing but with more leg room to
  push.

Mac Airline: All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage
  handlers, and ticket agents look the same, act the same, and talk
  the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are
  told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything
  will be done for you without you having to know, so just shut up.

OS/2 Airline: To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped
  ten different times by standing in ten different lines. Then you
  fill out a form showing where you want to sit and whether it
  should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train, or a
  bus. If you succeed in getting on board the plane and the plane
  succeeds in getting off the ground, you have a wonderful
  trip...except for the times when the rudder and flaps get frozen
  in position, in which case you have time to say your prayers and
  get yourself prepared before the crash.

Windows Airline: The airport terminal is nice and colorful, with
  friendly stewards and stewardesses, easy access to the plane, an
  uneventful takeoff...then the plane blows up without any warning
  whatsoever.

NT Airline: Everyone marches out on the runway, says the
  password in unison, and forms the outline of an airplane. Then
  they all sit down and make a whooshing sound like they're fly-
  ing.

Unix Airline: Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them
  when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway
  and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly 
  about what kind of plane they're building.

Alexandre Pechtchanski, GCRC system manager  [email-masked]